Quite often in my profession, I encounter a grown child. It’s typically a person who thinks and behaves like they never matured past junior high. It’s a sad reality, because as I process through strategies for them to achieve personal success, the recurring theme is simple: if they can’t shake off the attitudes, behaviors, and beliefs of childhood, they cannot succeed.
If you want to know if you’re still acting like a child and that is the reason you cannot achieve the maximum levels of success then read below:
1. You believe popularity is more important than integrity
Popularity is child’s play, but so many adults treat social status as a key to personal validity. In the process, they often sacrifice honesty, loyalty, and basic manners. The moment you place a value on popularity, you’ve distanced yourself from success. Popularity can get you more likes on social media, but it won’t bring you success. If you want to be validated, be known for having integrity. Like it or not, people will respect you and you will attract success.
2. You act like you know everything
The older I become, the more I realize I have so much more to learn. That’s the way it should be, but if you find yourself feeling like you already know enough, you’re stagnant or dying, because at this point, growth becomes impossible meaning success becomes impossible.
The average CEO reads over 50 books per year, and that’s only one piece of knowledge ingestion. If you want to be successful, recognize you don’t know enough, and never stop learning.
3. You would rather nap than work
There’s a Proverb that says, “if a man doesn’t work, he shouldn’t eat.” Hard work brings about success, but avoiding the work will hamper your ability to achieve. If you want to continue an upward track, embrace everything it takes to get there. Work now, rest later.
4. You don’t respect authority
We’re not talking about respecting abusive authority, but when it comes to achieving your goals, you need to understand that how you treat those in authority over you has a significant impact on your future. Children may be insolent, but winners show respect.
5. You excuse all your mistakes
Mistakes and failures are an inevitable part of your journey towards success. While excusing your mistakes might have seemed like a good idea when you were 12, doing so as an adult prevents you from learning and growing.
“Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.” – Bruce Lee
6. You are arrogant
Most successful people in life will tell you that humility is a requisite attitude. Arrogance, after all, usually precedes some form of stupidity. Arrogance may have scored the prom king his throne, but it won’t give you the upper hand in real life. If you want to succeed, lose the attitude.
7. You don’t listen
As a kid, I remember my mom telling me not to ride my bike without a helmet, and my first boss telling me not to mix chemicals when I was cleaning the equipment. I ignored both of them, and suffered the consequences. As an adult, if you don’t listen, people notice. Ignoring others may not put you in the hospital, but it will send a message that you don’t value them, and value is a two-way street.
8. You blame
Blaming your siblings or classmates may have helped you avoid discipline as a child, but when it comes to being an adult, personal responsibility is a key to growth. Don’t pass the blame, but instead look for ways you can take responsibility for your own actions. Personal responsibility is a hallmark of leadership.
9. You can’t admit being afraid
If you’re not a little afraid each day, you’re not pushing yourself far enough. Success requires that you step outside of the humdrum of routine and push yourself to the edge. The drop off, however, is scary, so don’t hesitate to admit your fear. When you identify it, you can master it.
10. You think you can do it on your own
Very few well-known leaders believe they have achieved success alone. Even fewer people actually achieve success going solo. If you want to reach the furthest limits of success, learn the value of teams – mentors, supporters, and everyone in between. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but when it comes to opportunity, a “village” can get you further than you can do yourself.
11. You can’t work well with others
The arrogance and autonomy of immaturity often impedes our ability to effectively participate in teams. Yet, aside from helping push us further, teamwork highlights our strengths and weaknesses. If you can’t work well with others, it shows the world you’re insecure, and when you’re insecure, success avoids you like the plague.
“Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence win championships.” – Michael Jordan
12. You alienate those not like you
I was an athlete and a skater in high school. The two groups would not mix, but I was content to spend time with both groups without feeling ousted by either. Group dynamics for jocks, nerds, headbangers, and goths may work well when you’re a kid because they help establish identity and social norms.
As an adult, they can undermine your ability to succeed. More importantly, when you alienate those who are not like you, you send a clear message that you have no value for them. Successful people show value for others; losers alienate them.
You have a shot to be all that you were meant to be, but you can’t get to new places using old tools. Let go of the childhood antics and step into success today.