posted from https://addicted2success.com/success-advice/how-to-have-more-money-5-secrets-you-need-to-know-to-be-wealthy/

Why are some people wealthy, while others struggle to survive, living pay check to pay check?  You can take two people from the same background, even the same family, with the same education and opportunity, and they will get different results. One will succeed, and one will fail. Why? Watching members of my own family get different results even though they were given the same information taught me valuable life lessons about building wealth.

My grandparents were hard-working, blue collar immigrants. They openly shared their good money habits with their four children. They all lived under the same roof and received the same information. Three of the four even had the same career, yet, their results were drastically different. I want to share my observations with you so you can learn what works when creating financial freedom.

Here are 5 proven secrets you need to know to be be wealthy:

1. Be Grateful

My grandparents spoke with love and appreciation for the opportunities available in their new homeland. My parents complained about money even though they earned plenty. Their lack of satisfaction led them to fund their lifestyle with money they didn’t have, accumulating a lot of debt. They fought over money and blamed each other for their results. Their constant bickering caused me unbearable stress. When you show appreciation, you get more of what you want. What are you grateful for today?

Here’s an easy way to show gratitude. Start and end each day stating out loud what you appreciate. It can be your health, family, friends, a thriving business. State your gratitude intention in the present tense. Here is an example…”I am so happy and grateful now that…. and you fill in the blank.

“You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you.” – Dave Ramsey

2. Be Generous

My grandparents regularly gave to their favorite charities and helped neighbors in need. Having the courage to be generous when you are struggling shows the Universe you’re confident in your ability to create what you need. Where can you show generosity today? How about donating your time, talent or money to a cause that matters to you? Sharing your passion in a special way often provides a renewed sense of purpose that gets your creative juices flowing.

3. Create A Plan and Take Daily Action Toward Your Goals

Only one of my grandparents children had a plan. My uncle and his wife lived within their means and had a lovely lifestyle. He didn’t earn more money than the others. My uncle made choices that gave him better results. His siblings spent more than they made, all the time. They thought they were living the good life, but the stress of being over extended and not having any savings took its toll financially and emotionally.

Do you set goals? Here’s an easy system to stay on track. First, create a written list of your goals and prioritize them. Write each one on 3 x 5 card that you read aloud daily. This will provide triggers that stimulate action. As you hit your targets, check them off your list. You will feel a rush of satisfaction that inspires you to keep going.

4. Have Honest Money Conversations

Nonnie and Grandpa were comfortable talking about money. This is the secret successful people have in common. Money doesn’t make them uncomfortable. They are comfortable with money. Developing a comfort level with money starts with knowing how to talk about it without getting emotional.

To have a successful money conversation, start small. Think of a money topic that is light, such as planning a vacation. If you have someone that is part of the planning process, make a vacation planning date with them. Start with general questions like where to go, when, and for how long. Once you’ve narrowed down your options, decide on a budget. Once this system becomes second nature, money conversations will be a breeze.

“Never spend your money before you have earned it.” – Thomas Jefferson

5. Live Within Your Means and Include Savings In Your Budget

My grandparents didn’t earn a lot of money in their day. Because they managed well and were consistent savers, they left their children a small inheritance when they passed. In contrast, one of their children died penniless. One lost everything and is living in government housing for the elderly. One had to downsize considerably, barely hanging on financially.

Their one child that copied their money habits retired comfortably. He enjoys financial freedom, experiencing life on his terms. His outcome proves your decisions and behavior create your results, not the size of your pay check.

What money choices will you make? This is essential – know your numbers. Use an online app or a spreadsheet. Include your take-home (net) income and any other income sources (dividends, interest, etc.).

Next list your expenses. Separate them by essential, and discretionary categories. Include savings in your budget. If you want to increase your savings, look for ways to reduce your discretionary expenses. Don’t forget subscription expenses. These are often overlooked and can add up fast. If you have subscriptions to goods or services you’re not using, consider cancelling them to save money.

As you can see, achieving the level of wealth and financial freedom isn’t as difficult as you might think. If you practice these 5 simple habits, you will be on your way to attain your money goals. Remember, live your life by design and not by default.

posted from http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/tinybuddha/~3/X2J-YDlaIq4/

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

It happened in the middle of an intimate moment, about a month before my wedding.

One minute I was enjoying a kiss from my fiancé and the next thing I knew, I was clutching my face and writhing in agony.

At first, there was a loud thud in my chest, as if my heart had skipped a beat.

Then out of nowhere I started getting this strange sensation—like the kind of feeling you’d get on an elevator that’s going down too fast. The feeling was so disorienting I couldn’t help but let out a startled cry.

I felt what I would later describe as “the draining”—it was as if all the blood had poured out of my body in a split second and I was left with an icy, numb, and shaky shell.

I was convinced that I was going to die.

But I wasn’t dying. Ten minutes and many repetitions of long, deep breaths later, I calmed down enough to shake off the fear and I was able to see the ordeal for what it really was—a panic attack.

It Wasn’t My First Time

I was no stranger to panic attacks—I’d already had a few in my life up till then. The first one hit me shortly after I was diagnosed with Leukemia at age nineteen. From then on it would rear its ugly head from time to time when things get overwhelming.

So when I had this panic attack a month before my wedding, I didn’t think much of it at first. I chalked it up to excitement over the impending wedding. I thought once I rested up for the weekend, everything would go back to normal.

But I was wrong.

I went on to have another panic attack, and then another one—until I lost count.

I continued to have panic attacks every day for an entire month. The experience opened my eyes about anxiety—I learned a few valuable lessons in this journey that taught me how to cope with anxiety and helped me get to a better place.

And I’m here to share those lessons in the hopes that my experience may be able to help someone else who’s suffering from anxiety.

3 Important Lessons About Anxiety from My Month of Panic Attacks

1. You don’t need a reason to explain or validate your anxiety.

I used to think that anxiety was something you’d only feel if there was a good reason for it.

For example, just right before an important exam or after a life-changing diagnosis.

So when I first started having those daily panic attacks, I kept asking myself why?

I know what you’re probably thinking: Maybe it was the wedding planning?

After all, many brides do get stressed just before their wedding. But I assure you that wasn’t the reason. I was a happy, relaxed bride-to-be who already had everything planned out months in advance. There was little left for me to do except to wait for the day to arrive.

Perhaps there were other stressful things going on at the time? No, not a thing.

My job was wonderful, my health was better than ever, and I was having a great time with my family and friends. I’d been through rough waters before and in comparison, this period of my life was all smooth-sailing.

Could it be from chronic stress that had been building over time? I doubt it.

I was practicing Tai Chi and Qigong meditation for at least forty-five minutes on a daily basis—a habit that I’d kept up for a couple of years already by then. I was in a good place mentally and physically. In fact, I hadn’t had an obsessive thought or lost sleep over anything in a long time.

I was feeling on top of the world.

But despite all of this, I began to experience some of the most terrifying symptoms of anxiety I’d ever experienced in my life. And the more I tried to look for an explanation, the worse I felt. As my mind desperately searched for an answer, it became more and more fixated on the anxiety itself.

I started to examine myself inch by inch—with a giant imaginary magnifying glass—for any clues that would explain the tightness in my chest, the tingling in my hands, or the throbbing in my neck. Soon, my anxiety was all I could think about.

In order for me to stop ruminating over my anxiety, I had to surrender to the fact that I didn’t know the explanation.

I had to accept that anxiety can strike at any time for no reason.

I came to realize we don’t need a reason to explain our anxiety, as if a solid explanation would somehow validate the way we feel. Sometimes anxiety just shows up. And once I accepted this fact, I felt more at peace with myself.

So if you’re stuck running in circles wondering why you feel the way you do, try this:

Instead of beating yourself up looking for a reason for your anxiety, accept that it is happening and you may never know why.

The sooner we make peace with the fact that there is no clear answer, the sooner we can stop scrutinizing our anxiety—and concentrate on healing.

2. Incredible things can happen when we open up about our anxiety.

I used to think having anxiety was embarrassing.

My family never talked about mental health when I was growing up. It wasn’t hard to figure out why. A couple of my relatives had mental health issues, and everyone in our extended family treated them like they were the family shame.

So when I started having the daily panic attacks, I felt I had to keep up the act that nothing was wrong.

“I’m fine,” I told my friends and coworkers when they noticed I wasn’t my usual cheery self. “I’ve got it under control.”

But as the days went by, it began to dawn on me that I was not fine. I was rapidly loosing grip on my normal life. I needed help.

I finally opened up to my friends and coworkers about my anxiety. I was skeptical and nervous at first. I’d imagined I’d get a lot of caring but suffocating questions, plenty of warm but generic words of comfort, and a few well-intended but over-simplified comments like “just relax.” I expected some people would want to jump in right away and try to “fix” me. But to my surprise, I got a very different kind of response.

Instead of doing all the things I’d imagined they’d do, the people I talked to listened to me with compassion and understanding. Many of them even opened up to me about their anxieties too.

They shared with me their encounters with panic attacks—their symptoms, worries, and coping strategies. Their stories gave me an incredible sense of relief, comfort, and hope. The experience gave me the courage and reassurance I needed to keep going. Because I knew I was not alone.

So if you’re suffering from anxiety, don’t bear the burden alone. Talk to someone. Find your support tribe. Give people the benefit of the doubt that they’ll understand you and do whatever they can to help you. Incredible things can happen when you open up about your anxiety.

3. Believing you can get better is the key to getting better.

I used to think I was helpless against anxiety. Panic attacks would come out of nowhere like rogue waves, and all I could do was flail my arms in the air and wait for them to pass.

But what I learned from this month-long struggle with anxiety is that believing you can get better is key to getting better. It’s called “sense of agency.”

Sense of agency is the belief that you have control over your own life. When you have a sense of agency, you feel you’re in charge of your actions and you have the ability to influence your reality.

When you believe you have the power to control what happens in life—despite the fact that there are things that are clearly out of your hands—you act in a way that aligns with that belief. Instead of being a “victim of circumstances,” floating in every which direction life takes you, you become the driver of your own destiny.

When you have a sense of agency, magic happens. You complain less. You become more optimistic. And you focus on what you can do instead of ruminating over what you can’t. As a result, you feel better.

I didn’t always have a sense of agency. In fact, I spent much of my childhood and teenage years feeling helpless. Life at home was hell—a stewing pot of anger and disappointment from my parents’ unhappy marriage. School wasn’t much better—I was this awkward kid who was on the fringe with exactly two friends out of the entire school. And then I won the lottery from hell when I got cancer. I frequently asked myself the question: “Why do bad things happen to me?”

But my thinking started to shift during my early twentiess. I realized in order for me to win the fight against cancer and live a fulfilling life without the constant fear of relapse, I needed to change. I was sick of being a victim—I wanted to be a victor.

So I began to take actions to improve my health and my mindset.

I admit, I was doubtful at first.

Do I really have the power to make a difference in my life? I would think to myself. But I pushed forward anyways, taking one small step at a time. And my efforts paid off. Once I started seeing some improvement in my life, I started to gain confidence. And the more confidence I felt, the more I believed in my own power.

When I started having those daily panic attacks, my initial response was to cry, complain, and throw my hands up in the air and say, “I can’t deal with this!”

I was scared and lost.

But I reminded myself that the power to heal was already within me—I didn’t have to settle on being frightened and helpless. So I started to learn and practice strategies to help manage my symptoms—everything from breathing techniques and meditation, to acupressure and cardio exercise.

I believed I could make myself feel better, and that belief helped me feel better.

So work on building your sense of agency. Start with just making one small positive change such as adopting a tiny habit. You’ll be amazed how much impact your actions—even if seem insignificant—can have over your life.

The good news is I haven’t had a panic attack in over a year now. My anxiety still rises up from time to time like waves in the ocean, but for the most part, it remains quiet. I know one day, my anxiety might get out of control again and I could have another panic attack, but I’m not scared anymore.

I’ve learned how the surf the waves.

Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.

The post What a Month of Daily Panic Attacks Taught Me About Anxiety appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

posted from https://www.lifehack.org/845046/best-hiit-workout

High Intensity Interval Training, or as its street name better known as HIIT has been all the craze as of late. You might have heard your co-worker talking about doing HIIT with their trainer and saying how it has changed their life. Well so, what is HIIT? Let me answer that for you. HIIT is a form of “cardio” training, the bouts are done in intervals, with high intensity during the active bouts and either active recovery or a stationary recovery during the rest bouts. When performing a HIIT interval, we would usually be aiming to achieve a max heart rate of 80% -- (220-your age)x0.8. The work to rest ratio for a HIIT interval should be about to a 1:2 or 1:3, what does this look like? Well in a 1:2 work to rest ratio, we would be doing our high intensity portion for 30 seconds and have a complete minute (60 seconds) of rest.

What Are the Best HIIT Exercises?

Now that we know what HIIT is, and how to program it, you may be asking yourself, “What are the best modes of HIIT?”. Well is there a really best mode for HIIT for you? The answer is yes! First, we have to see what we are looking to get out of it, and how long have we been training and, what we have been doing: For someone who has been training, for a good amount of time and has running frequently might consider either sprints on the treadmill or outdoor/indoor track if it's available. For a novice trainee, a good option might be to do something very low impact as they wont have the ligament and tendon strength to tolerate a lot of the impact that running/sprinting has. This being said, a personal favourite exercise for HIIT for those just starting looking to get their conditioning up is Mountain Climbers, truly an oldie but goodie. Usually, a long lost exercise may be good to take off the shelf and put into work. Being a relatively low impact exercise, it also engages the full body, and firing up that core due to its hand plank positioning. The exercise is also a relatively very safe exercise especially when done on a matt, as the worst that can happen is you land on the matt. Also, the exercise is very scalable so as you get better you can easily increase the intensity.

How Many Times Should I Be Doing HIIT?

Once you have decided what type of HIIT to do, you have to come to a decision as to how many times to incorporate HIIT into your training week. This may vary heavily based on your training experience and current conditioning. For an intermediate trainee, this may be up to as many as 4 times per week in conjunction with a proper strength training regimen. When looking at a novice trainee, this may be about 1-2 times per week. Although these are just general suggestions, some things that you should take into account when deciding what is right for you is what your goal is -- is it just increasing your conditioning or, are you looking to burn a hefty amount of calories to help put you into a larger calorie deficit? Obviously, if you’re looking to burn more calories, frequency will be very important. What that number may be will vary heavily on what your recovering ability is from workout to workout. What shouldn’t happen is after completing your HIIT portion of the session/workout, it shouldn’t trail into your next scheduled training session and impact your performance in that workout. That's how you know you should tone it back and then increase according, with intensity and frequency until you find that sweet spot where you are able to get a good amount of volume while still killing the other portion of your workouts.

Why Is HIIT Good for Losing Weight?

HIIT is good for losing weight due to its time efficiency. When performing these high intensity intervals, it causes your heart rate and rate of breathing (respiration rate) to increase dramatically, like literally fly through the roof. This is good for you because it causes your body to burn a lot more calories minute for minute when compared to standard resistance training/strength training. Especially when you are cut for time and trying to make the most of that hour that you are able to set a side, this will be your secret weapon for increasing your energy expenditure and really aiding in helping you in shedding off those last extra pounds and bringing you to your end goal.

What Burns the Most Calories in 30 Minutes?

Ideally in this situation, we would be able to get you doing a movement that engages your full body. When able to run with efficiency and intensity, this would be our best fat burner. Getting those sprints on the tracks (or treadmill alternatively), in the sun and really getting that heart rate up there would be killer! If you're just starting, we are going to get you onto those matts and firing up those knees getting those mountain climbers on. Same thing, same concept really getting that heart rate up and getting that sweat on! Either or will be equally as effective especially when starting work your way into it and melt that fat off!

10 Best HIIT Workout Combinations to Burn Calories Fast

Combo #1

1. High Knees (20 seconds work- 40 seconds rest) x 5 sets
2. Plank Jacks (20 seconds work- 40 seconds rest) x 5 sets
3. Burpees ( 30 seconds work- 60 seconds rest) x 4 sets

Combo #2

1. Side Plank Walks (30 seconds work- 60 seconds rest)x 5 sets
2. Jumping Lunges (20 seconds work- 40 seconds rest)x 5 sets
3. Mountain Climbers (20 seconds work- 40 seconds rest)x 5 sets

Combo #3

1. Jump Squats (20 seconds work- 40 seconds rest)x 5 sets
2. Plank Jacks (20 seconds work- 40 seconds rest) x 5 sets
3. High Knees (30 seconds work- 60 seconds rest) x 5 sets

Combo #4

1. Side Lunges (30 seconds work- 60 seconds rest)x 5 sets
2. Saw Plank (30 seconds work- 60 seconds rest) x 5 sets
3. Butt Kick (30 seconds work- 60 seconds rest) x 5 sets

Combo #5

1. Side plank walks (30 seconds work- 60 seconds rest) x 5 sets
2. Burpees (30 seconds work- 60 seconds rest)x 5 sets
3. High Knees (30 seconds work- 60 seconds rest)

Combo #6

4 sets of:

1. Jumping Jacks 20 seconds work
2. Mountain Climbers 20 seconds work
3. 60 Seconds rest

Plus 4 sets of:

1. Side Plank Walks 20 seconds work
2. Saw Plank 20 seconds work
3. Burpees 20 Seconds work
4. 90 seconds rest

Combo #7

4 sets of:

1. Dumbbell Squats 30 seconds work
2. Side Squats 30 seconds work
3. 60 seconds rest

Plus 4 sets of:

1. High Knees 30 seconds work
2. Butt Kick 30 seconds work
3. Burpees 20 seconds work
4. 90 seconds rest

Combo #8

4 sets of:

1. Jumping Lunges 20 seconds work
2. Mountain Climbers 20 seconds work
3. 60 seconds rest

Plus 4 sets of:

1. Jumping Jacks 30 seconds work
2. Side Squats 30 seconds work
3. High knees 20 seconds work
4. 90 seconds rest

Combo #9

4 sets of:

1. Squat Jumps 20 seconds work
2. Jumping Jacks 20 seconds work
3. 60 seconds rest

Plus 4 sets of:

1. Mountain Climbers 20 seconds work
2. Side Plank Walks 20 seconds work
3. Saw Plank 20 seconds work
4. 90 seconds rest

Combo #10

4 sets of:

1. Jumping Jacks 30 seconds work
2. A2. High Knees 20 seconds work
3. A3. Butt Kick 20 seconds work
4. 60 Seconds rest

Plus 4 sets of:

1. Burpees 30 seconds work
2. Mountain climbers 30 seconds work
3. 90 seconds rest x 4 sets

Bottom Line

And there you go, 10 combinations of HIIT exercises that you can start trying to burn calories fast and stay fit. If you want to learn more about burning calories and losing weight, take a look at these articles:

• How to Burn Calories Effectively (The Healthy Way)
• Why You're Struggling to Lose Weight (And How to Fix It)
• How Long Does it Take to Build Muscle and Increase Fat Loss?
• How to Lose Fat and Gain Muscle to See Results Fast

posted from https://wealthygorilla.com/katy-perry-quotes/

Katy Perry is an incredible music artist, who was born in a conservative family and grew up under many restrictions. However, she has an affinity to music and heard all sorts of music which her friends provided her with, even though those were not allowed by her parents. She is outspoken and defended her desire […]

The post 30 Powerful Katy Perry Quotes Inspiring People to Succeed appeared first on Wealthy Gorilla.

posted from https://addicted2success.com/entrepreneur-profile/4-signs-you-need-support-in-your-business-how-to-pinpoint-where-you-need-it/

Being a business owner is no joke. It comes with an immense amount of pressure, and forces you to grow or to give up. If you want to focus on success, there are different types of support you need to keep growing both as a person and a business. 

Below are the four signs you will see when you need support, as well as what kind of support you need:

1. Exhaustion

The hustle and grind calls from time to time, but if you’re in a constant state of working too many hours without time off, you’re running towards burnout. If you find yourself overtired, overwhelmed, and overextended, it’s time to get some support. The key here is understanding what exactly is causing the exhaustion so you know where to get help.

There are three main support systems for this particular symptom: a health coach, a mindset coach, or a team member. If you find that your exhaustion is stemming from not getting enough sleep, a diet of Doritos and pizza, or that you’re not exercising, then you likely need a health coach or nutritionist.

If you find that your exhaustion is coming from overwhelm, fear, and other negative emotions that keep you on a rollercoaster of emotions and doubting yourself, then you likely need a mindset coach.

If you find that you’ve got too much on your plate, there are more jobs than you can handle, or you don’t know how to do something extraordinarily well in your business and it’s eating up your time, then you likely need a team member to support you.

Whether you need one or more of these support systems, exhaustion is one of the most critical signs to pay attention to, because if ignored, it can lead to burnout—which means lost time, lost sales, and lost money in your business.

“I firmly believe that any man’s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle – victorious.” – Vince Lombardi

2. Dropping Balls & Not Meeting Deadlines

How many times have you forgotten something in the past week? If you’re consistently forgetting things, like deliverables you promised to your clients, calls you had on the books, or marketing activities you swore you’d have done two weeks ago, then you are dropping balls. 

This is one of the things that can turn your business upside down and make clients upset fast.

What this problem points to is: A lack of systems and not enough team members.

When you have a lack of systems, it means you’re often flying by the seat of your pants or putting out fires. When you’re only putting your attention towards fires in your business, you inevitably create more fires. Systems help you create and maintain priorities and structure, so that fires are few and far between, and your business runs well.

If systems is a word that makes you want to hide under a rock until the monsters go away, you’re not alone! Hiring a team member who’s a great project manager with excellent systems skills is vital if you’re experiencing ball dropping. This person will help you identify where you’re losing time and where you’re being ineffective, so you can get the right team members in place.

3. Weight Gain or Getting Sick

Have you let your exercise routine slip or fallen into the eating out/ordering trap? When you’re building a business, it’s easy to put all of your energy into your goals, and ignore your health. The problem is your body won’t let you ignore it for very long, and usually when you’re operating your business this way, it means the business can’t operate without you.

If your business doesn’t operate without you, it’s a poor business decision to let your health go by the wayside, which leads to getting sick. Lost time and momentum in your business can cost you opportunities, money, and peace of mind.

If you’re constantly in your business, it’s important to look at two things: Are you working extra hard, even though you don’t have to or does the business not run if you’re not working hard?

If you answered yes to the first question, it’s time to hire a mindset or high performance coach—someone who can help you prioritize and balance your life, so you can hustle when necessary and rest when necessary. Your business can’t afford for you to go down. So if there’s something compelling you to work long hours and ignore your health, especially if you don’t have to, it’s time to get mindset or high performance support.

If the second question got you, then it’s time to hire a team member. If you don’t know where to start with hiring someone, look at these questions first to help you figure it out:

• Where do you spend most of your time, outside of your genius?
• What activities are you doing that are NOT making you money?
• What activities are you losing time to?

The answers to these questions will pinpoint exactly what specialties your team members need to have to start taking things off of your plate, so that you can take care of your business and yourself.

“Money doesn’t mean anything to me. I’ve made a lot of money, but I want to enjoy life and not stress myself building my bank account. I give lots away and live simply, mostly out of a suitcase in hotels. We all know that good health is much more important.” – Keanu Reeves

4. You Haven’t Spent Time With Your Loved Ones In A While

When you started your business, what called to you? Did you have visions of vacations, working on beaches, or taking your loved ones out for extravagant experiences? Were you intrigued by being able to take off whenever you wanted? The tell tale signs of freedom often call to business owners, luring them in, but there’s more to the story than that.

When you own a business, there’s a responsibility to your clients and your audience to show up. When you start working overtime in your business, you start missing out on things with the people you love. You miss the dance recitals, the picnics, even the family dinners, and you can start to question why you’re doing this in the first place.

If this is where you find yourself, you’re probably taking on more duties in the business than necessary (or you’re focusing on the wrong ones). The way to fix this is to hire a team member who can take care of at least some of the daily, weekly, and monthly activities that can bog you down and eat away your time. This will allow you to focus on the high level activities that take your business to the next level. This will help you generate a larger return on your energy, while giving you your time back. 

Many of us work too hard and don’t have an adequately balanced life. To ensure you enjoy all aspects of your life, which part of the above article resonated most with you and why? Share your thoughts with us below!

posted from http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/tinybuddha/~3/aM2kyW3_dJM/

“Life is a balance between what we can control and what we cannot. I am learning to live between effort and surrender.” ~Danielle Orner

For too long, I felt myself pulled between two shores of my identity. On one side was my yoga teacher, meditator, healer identity—my tender side. On the other side was my activist, change-maker role—my fierce side.

I always felt like I was too tender for some and too fierce for others. It made me feel like I didn’t fit in anywhere.

Definitely the soft-hearted “woo” person in my activist circles. And I was definitely the one talking about structural oppression and other activist ideas in my yoga teacher trainings. (The ahimsa lecture was always a sticky one.)

What I now know is that both of these sides of myself are valid. Both are necessary for living in the world, whether you want to bring healing, love, and light—or whether you want to really shake things up.

The problem is not that both of these exist (both do, in all of us). The problem is what happens when they are out of balance.

When we favor our tender side too much, we might succumb to heartbreak and collapse. If we let our fierce side get too strong, our anger might consume us until we flame out. Either option is a recipe for burnout and exhaustion.

This is your official permission slip to embrace both of these sides of yourself.

When I became a mom, my perspective shifted dramatically. While I aimed to be a tender, safe container for my baby, I also had to be a warrior-advocate for him on a number of fronts.

New motherhood was also a time when I had to admit vulnerabilities in myself like I never had before, while having less access to outlets for my fierce activism. I had to admit that I had no idea what I was doing; that I needed help; and that I needed to take a step back from certain areas of life.

It was tender. And it was an act of fierce self-love. I learned that we needed both, not just within us, but at the same time.

My self-care also shifted. I couldn’t procrastinate or be wishy-washy anymore. I had to clearly (sometimes fiercely communicate) my needs.

I also had to slow way down and shift my expectations for myself. I had to invite a sense of tenderness into my days, even when it would have been much easier to push harder. I incorporate a sense of flow into my days, even when it feels challenging to allow myself that.

That looks like taking dedicated, structured time for myself and my work when my energy is high. And it looks like easing off a little bit when my energy is lower. This requires clear communication with those around me, and a lot of grace for myself.

It takes both the fierce side and the tender side, working together.

Now, I’ll be honest: Society is sometimes not wild about folks being fierce and tender. It can be very gendered: men are expected to be tough and fierce; women are expected to be sweet and tender. So we’re breaking the rules.

But trust me when I say that it’s worth it. It’s worth it to embrace your whole self. Ultimately, those around you (and the world!) will benefit from you showing up as your complete self.

Yes, our fiery side will make some folks uncomfortable, just the way our vulnerabilities will. Everyone will survive that discomfort. Just remember that your tender heartbreak is valid—as is your fierce desire to create transformation.

Sometimes it feels as though nuance is no longer welcome—that we’re reduced to what we can fit into an Instagram caption. But you are allowed to be complicated.

There’s a myth that being fierce isn’t spiritual—that we’re all supposed to be perfectly calm all the time. That just isn’t true. Our fierce side—or any other reaction to oppression or the state of the world—is just a set of conditions we’re working with.

Anger is simply another part of our experience. In fact, it offers us grist for our practice. Beyond our own individual practice, our fierce side is a lamp to illuminate injustice and show the path forward.

On the other hand, there’s a misconception that if we’re “too” tender, then we’ll crumple when the going gets tough. It’s true that we don’t want to become victim to our emotions. It is a gift to be able to work with them skillfully.

Our tenderness, though, is actually an asset. Tenderness allows us to perceive our interconnection more easily—to recognize ourselves in others, and vice versa. It is the foundation of a more compassionate world.

This is why I (and we) need both. When there’s too much of one, we fall out of balance. There are gifts to embracing both, of being somewhere in the middle.

To create more of this balance, it’s important to know your tendencies. Do you tend toward the fierce side or the tender side? With that information, you can navigate ways to create more equilibrium and communication between those two sides.

If you tend more toward the fierce side, practice getting in touch with the feelings underneath any anger or reactivity. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel tender and vulnerable. Place your hands over your heart and breathe, if you’re having trouble getting in touch with your tenderness.

If your natural state is more tender, practice taking action in service of what breaks your heart. Getting into action creates a sense of empowerment. Taking action (even small actions) regularly may help you release the feelings of helplessness you might be feeling.

Above all, remember the root of your caring. Whether it comes from a place of fierce protection or tender nurturance, these feelings are reminders that you care.

We are all allowed to hold all of our parts, all at the same time, even if some of them don’t seem to fit at first.

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The post You Can Have a Tender Heart and Still Be Fierce appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

posted from https://addicted2success.com/entrepreneur-profile/7-financial-health-strategies-for-young-entrepreneurs/

Do you know what the main reason is for the failure of newly created companies? The reason is not that they did not conduct a preliminary analysis, did not create a unique proposal, or began to conduct business in a very competitive environment.

The reason many companies fail is due to the issue of not financial monitoring the state of the company. This is especially true for young entrepreneurs when confidence in success, ambition, and adventurism blur common sense. 

In this article, we talk about 7 simple yet effective strategies that will allow your company to always remain financially stable:

1. Track Your Performance

This is the main rule of any financial strategy – to know the real price of each of your actions and evaluate it in terms of business profitability. And for this, you will have to work with real numbers, track financial indicators, analyze, and create interim reports.

For example, if you’re the owner of the site participating in an affiliate program, you must accurately understand the cost of each lead attracted to your site and correlate this value with the commission that you receive from the sale. If you launch a contest on Instagram, you must first predict the desired results and understand the cost of each new subscriber from the perspective of the total cost of the prize that you promised them.

2. Optimize and Automate

This is the best way to reduce costs and allocate free money for your development. Modern technologies make it possible for a business to achieve maximum efficiency simply by automating business processes and optimizing labor. Of course, the practical steps will depend on your type of business.

Some examples include transitioning to a remote form of work allowing you to eliminate the need to pay for office rent. Another example is to automate your marketing efforts to save the marketer from routine tasks.

3. Keep Different Accounts for Personal and Business Finances

The best way to create a complete mess in your finances is to not separate personal expenses from business payments. Have you heard of the rule that the owner of a business gets his salary last? 

For a business to be sustainable, it is first necessary to pay for the work of employees, make payments on all debts, pay off suppliers, set aside a little non-combustible fund, invest in development, and only then dispose of the remaining money at your own discretion.

“The caliber of your future will be determined by the choices you make today.” – Anthony ONeal

4. Pay Your Obligations on Time

If you want your company to be financially stable, it is important to avoid debts. This applies to all types of payments you need to make within a month. Above, we already listed the main items of expenditure, but the essence of this rule is that by paying everything on time, you will increase the value and profitability of your business. Employees will be loyal to you because they can be sure of tomorrow, suppliers will want to work with you, and loan interests will not grow exponentially.

5. Take Care of Your Employees

Your employees are the main driving force of your business, so they should feel valued. You need to maintain their loyal attitude, because they not only help your company remain financially stable, but also take it to a new level. 

Motivated, involved, and confident ​​employees can help you take your business to new heights. As for how to make them such people, just ask a direct question, and they themselves will tell you what they lack in the workplace.

6. Build a Contingency Fund

Of course, clear financial strategies are good, but no one has immunity against sudden changes in your niche. If you use the capabilities of big data and analyze trends, you will be able to see alarm signs before others and have time to adapt. It is crucial to have a contingency fund that will give you the ability to stay afloat until you fully adapt to the changes.

“Someone’s sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.” – Warren Buffett

7. The Best Way to Spend Is to Invest

If we are just talking about maintaining a business at a certain level of profitability, then in principle, it will be enough to use all of the above tips. But if you want your business to develop, it is necessary to invest in its development. And these investments must be comprehensive.

The best areas to invest in business development are investments in technology, product improvements, and investments in employee education and customer service. Determine for yourself the key areas for business development and you will immediately understand which area requires the most immediate investment.

It is necessary to invest before you take part of the earned money into your pocket. If you don’t, your company could stay stagnant. Additionally, your competitors will not be embarrassed to take advantage of this and derive additional benefits for themselves.

What’s the best piece of financial advice you’ve ever received? Let us know in the comments below!

posted from https://wealthygorilla.com/adam-sandler-quotes/

Adam Sandler is an amazing American actor and comedian known for his roles in films like ‘Punch-Drunk Love’ and ‘The Wedding Singer’. Along with his feature films that combined together have grossed over $2 billion at the box office, he has also released five comedy albums in his career, two of which were certified double-platinum. […]

The post 29 Wonderful Adam Sandler Quotes appeared first on Wealthy Gorilla.

posted from http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/tinybuddha/~3/CWANas_ZUy0/

“You only see in others what you have in yourself.” ~Annette Noontil

I now recognize, after observing painful patterns repeat many times, how things that trigger me are just lessons I need to learn that are often delivered through other people. The more painful the experience, the more I can see (in retrospect) I learned from it.

Every now and then, when I find myself getting sucked into thoughts about the rightness or wrongness of a situation and how much pain it’s causing me, I take a step backward. I can see that people are just the mechanism to my growth, and painful experiences are just big Wrong Way signs redirecting me to my best life.

In his book Scattered Minds, Dr. Gabor Maté wrote, “It is well recognized now that people will form relationships with others exactly at the same level of psychological development and self-acceptance as their own… What we might call the law of equal development holds true even if the people themselves buy into the mythology that one of them is more emotionally mature than the other.”

I love this insight from Dr Maté, especially when he goes on to give a typical example of a married couple with one spouse that appears to be functioning in the world more successfully than the other. When the relationship is examined more closely it can usually be seen that both people have a lot of maturing to do in order to be able to function healthily as individuals rather than in a codependent state.

It’s no coincidence that we form relationships with people who trigger us. We are drawn to people who are, in some way, a match to our own issues, and they both challenge us and help us heal and grow.

As a homeopathic practitioner recently observed, about two differing constitutions often drawn to one another: “One is in their head and has to learn to connect from their heart, the other is in their heart and has to learn to connect from their head.”

But all this holds true whether it’s an intimate relationship or a more distant one; if someone triggers you (positively or negatively) they have something to teach. Michael Kerr puts it simply as “People gravitate toward their emotional mirror images.”

“People tend to sort themselves out by levels of emotional development for many purposes, not just marriage, “ writes Stanley Greenspan, “because those functioning at different levels are practically speaking different languages…. People widely separated developmentally in fact have very little to talk about.”

It can be tough to look at people I have, at one time, literally despised and consider that we were emotional mirror images—for example, a jealous colleague who went out of her way to discredit me on a number of occasions. This doesn’t mean that I am a bully because someone bullied me (although it could mean that for someone else); it means that we both had an equal emotional stake in the same interaction.

In retrospect, I can see that my former colleague triggered pain from my childhood relationship with my mother.

My colleague’s modus operandi was an unfiltered lashing out at anything that stood in her way. Her unprofessional conduct went unchecked and unmanaged because she had been promoted for the short-term results she’d achieved.

Her behavior reflected the unfiltered (tongue) lashing I often received from my mum when she was feeling highly anxious.

As a child, I learned to stay out of trouble by anticipating her emotions and striving for perfection in my behavior so that I received no criticism (which was usually unfounded and always delivered in a way that felt crushing and unfair).

Not that I was ever passive, but when I wanted something I would go after it from a point of defense, justifying myself rationally rather than having healthy boundaries around my own needs and desires.

To be criticized publicly by a colleague was, therefore, not something that felt safe to me. My attempts at repairing the relationship privately were unsuccessful, and it was not until I stood up in a meeting and told her pointedly that I would not allow her (nor anyone else) to bully me that I garnered her respect.

This experience allowed me to see how much hurt I’d been harboring from my childhood, and to put energy into healing that old wound rather than perpetuating any more situations that echoed it.

With the benefit of hindsight and my own years of parenting, I can now see I wasn’t responsible for my mum’s anxiety; rather it was an amplification of her own anxiety as a child in reaction to the culture and environment she grew up in, and the way her behavior was managed.

While it’s easier for me these days to detach myself from issues that trigger me emotionally, note that I do still get triggered. That, I believe, will never change because there is no surer way to know what we do want without first experiencing what we don’t want. It is just best not to get stuck feeling sorry for ourselves.

I’ll admit it’s sometimes hard to see a way through the emotions of the moment, especially when it relates to an ongoing situation. When I’m triggered, it’s still through other people whom I would dearly love to validate my view, just as they would no doubt love me to validate theirs, so there is a lot to work on.

The beauty, though, is that I mostly choose to do it from a point of intrigue and willingness to learn and grow rather than feeling powerless and at the mercy of others.

Again, note I said mostly. Old habits die hard, and there are still many times where I’ll find myself turning to confidants to rant about something. For this reason I choose to confide in people who gently prompt me back to the observer’s chair, and the broader view.

And when similar situations keep arising, I know that life is presenting an important lesson for me. It’s not always immediately obvious what the real lesson is and how I can overcome my struggle, but experience has taught me that things become clear when they are ready to; my job is to cope as best as I can with my frustrations rather than make myself miserable.

And since the lessons are most often delivered through others, I try not to vilify them for their part. I know that in the future I will be thanking them—even if only inwardly—for the role they played in my ongoing growth and journey through life.

So what are you currently triggered by, and who is the focus of your frustrations? Think about past situations where you’ve felt similarly. When was the first time you can recall feeling this way? Try to see the pattern, and what it might be telling you.

Rather than living through the pain as a helpless victim, try to see the lessons you’ve come to learn. In whatever way the lesson is being played out, the true lesson will be some version of learning to love yourself more; it always is.

Can you imagine a world full of people who are seeking their power through self-love rather than trying to take from others? Now that is a world I’d like to live in.

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The post The People Who Hurt Us Are Vehicles for Our Growth appeared first on Tiny Buddha.